How to Receive Your Heart’s Desire

by Kristi on October 28, 2014 · 1 comment

in spirituality

The Universe will deliver your heart’s desire when you open your arms and are ready to receive it.

Take a second to soak that one in. Don’t you just love it?

This beautiful message came to me last week just as I was about to drift off into an afternoon nap. At the time, I was far too cozy and comfortable to stop and contemplate it deeply, but in the days that followed I spent a little time mulling it over in my mind.

As intelligent, spiritual beings with a deep desire to understand the intricate mysteries of life, we spend a great deal of time and effort banging our heads against the proverbial wall, feeling frustrated and wondering why the Universe isn’t handling our affairs and providing us with what we want or feel that we need. And so we get angry, we cry, we feel abandoned and defeated. Sometimes we lash out. (I know I can attest to this.)

The simple truth, almost so transparent that we can’t even see it at times, is that, often, what we think the Universe is depriving us of we are actually withholding from ourselves.

Universe-will-deliver

Let me give you a personal example from my life.

I was sitting in meditation a few nights ago. (Sometimes when I meditate I hold a specific thought or focus in my mind and other times I sit down, get quiet and stuff just seems to pop into my head out of nowhere. This was one of those latter instances.) For no apparent reason, my mind gravitated toward a moment a few weeks back when I was with a friend (and potential romantic interest) of mine who was attempting to offer me a kind gesture which I was making every effort to refuse. It was such a small thing really, but nevertheless, it held kind of a major impact. Sometimes the biggest revelations come in tiny packages. There I was, being presented with a circumstance where I could have simply allowed myself to be taken care of, but I almost didn’t let it happen. Thinking back on that moment I was surprised to recognize that I have such a difficult time accepting love, even when it’s staring me right in the face. And I’m not just talking romantic love here, but all manners of love — kindness, affection, help and support from others.

That’s when I had a revelation that hit me like a ton of bricks: I am the only thing blocking myself from receiving the love that I want. Tears began streaming down my face instantly as I felt the magnitude of that truth. One of my deepest desires in the entire world is to be loved and cared for yet, there I was, unwittingly withholding from myself exactly what I had been searching for. As I allowed that realization to sink in, I sat for several moments crying and telling myself, “I’m so sorry” over and over. Afterward, I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted.

Letting people in, especially in the romantic arena, isn’t something that’s always come easily for me. In fact, it’s an area that I’ve had to work on a lot. This whole experience helped me realize that, while I’ve made some huge strides, I’ve still been operating with a heart that’s partially walled off. Coming to this realization, I can now choose differently. I can open my heart further to give and receive even more love moving forward.

You see how that works?

The Universe is waiting patiently to give us what we desire, but we have to be willing to do our part to open up our arms and receive it! It can be difficult sometimes to recognize our role, but it all starts with the willingness to examine our thoughts, actions and beliefs surrounding what we want. In my case, it’s recognizing where I’ve been blocking myself from receiving love.

Since I’m kind of in it to win it in the romance department these days ;) , for the next several weeks I’m taking a magnifying lens to all of the ways I’ve been denying love in my own life — both the giving and receiving of love. A Course in Miracles teaches us that what we give we also receive, so really they’re one in the same. I’m excited to see what the Universe has in store.

If you’re feeling ready to make some changes then I invite you to join me in being a gentle witness to the ways in which you may be holding yourself back from what you want in your life. Let me know how what’s coming up for you in the comments below!

Your deepest desires? I want those for you too. May you open your arms and receive. <3

xoxo

Kristi

 

 

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How To Navigate An Emotional Detox

by Kristi on October 21, 2014 · 2 comments

in Tips

Hello, my friends!

Is it just me or has this week been kind of a doozy?

I feel a little like I’ve been through the ringer. I’ve been noticing lots of old patterns and other ‘stuff’ coming up recently (Hello, Mercury retrograde!), and it’s been bringing a lot of emotions to the surface. I’ll be the first to admit that it can be totally draining when we go through these emotional detoxes, but there’s also a lot of deep clearing that happens, which is a really awesome thing.One skill I’ve really begun to grasp through my three year stint in therapy and personal growth work is learning how to  be present with and work through my emotions. It takes awareness and a lot of courage to face your emotions head on, especially when whatever you’re feeling is something you’ve previously labeled as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ (such as sadness, anxiety or anger). Trust me, I know.

Let’s face it, we all go through periods in life from time to time when it seems like the you-know-what hits the fan all at once. When these periods of really intense emotion come up, it can feel pretty overwhelming. For many of us, the tendency is to resist. Our minds immediately tend to think that something really bad is going on. In reality, there is no such thing as ‘negative’ or ‘bad’ emotions. They’re all simply emotions. Our job is to allow them to come up, feel them (in some cases this process could take seconds or it might mean marinating in an emotion for several days) and then release them. The problem comes when we start to resist our emotions, or when we identify so deeply with a feeling (of sadness, hurt or whatever) that we allow the emotion to become who we are.

Generally speaking, as humans, we will go to great lengths to avoid feeling our emotions. We eat over our emotions, we watch TV or we distract ourselves by staying ‘busy’. And so we stuff them down, deeper and deeper until we numb out. The thing is…..our emotions never go away. Eventually, everything comes to a head. (Um, crying in the middle of the produce section because the TJ’s grocery clerk asks me how my day is going… Please tell me you’ve been there.)

So how do we navigate these periods of emotional detox without going crazy?

Here are some tools to help you out!
Emotional-Detox

The first step is to let whatever needs to come up come up. That usually starts with identifying the behavior you use to avoid feeling your emotions. This could be anything from overeating or over-exercising even to procrastinating on Facebook for hours. For me, it’s nearly always snacking. I’ll catch myself mindlessly chomping on a fist full of popcorn and I’ll ask myself, “What’s really going on here?” Then, I’ll tune in and recognize I have a general feeling of anxiousness, sadness or unrest (rather than actual hunger) in the pit of my stomach.

The second step is to dwell in the emotion for a bit. STOP yourself in the middle of whatever your’e doing (put down the bag of popcorn, put your hands up and back away slowly….) and just breathe into it. Allow yourself the space to feel whatever needs to come up. And, remember, whatever is coming up for you is totally ok. If you need to feel sad, then feel sad. Put on some Phil Collins (or whatever does it for you) and have a good cry. As my dear friend Heather says, allow yourself to marinate in the emotion for a little while. Seriously! Try it and watch how relieved you’ll feel afterward.

The third step is kind of optional, but I find it really helpful — especially when I’m working through something really deep or there’s a recurring theme that keeps coming up for me: journal. Journaling really helps me take in everything I’m going through so I can process it and put it into perspective. You’d be surprised what kind of “aha” moments you’ll discover when you start to journal on a regular basis. (OMG I’m totally putting all of my expectations on this relationship or this guy to ‘save’ me because I still feel unworthy or incapable somehow. Just a random example. Not that I’ve ever been there or anything. Certainly not recently…)

And lastly, give yourself a break. These periods of unearthing our emotions are intense. And, as I said before, it takes a lot of courage and strength to deal with your emotions head on. This is not an excuse to beat yourself up. Let go of judgement and allow yourself to simply be a kind and gentle witness to whatever you’re feeling. Be sure to give yourself plenty of rest, treat your body well with healthy foods and exercise. Rest if you need to. Know that you’re doing some deep and powerful work, babe. Congrats!

So, lemme have it. What’s been coming up for you this week? What emotion are you needing to feel? How are you working through it? This is a totally safe space for you. Leave me a comment below or over on my Facebook page. I’d love to hear what you’ve got to say.

As always, have a beautiful week my friends! <3

xoxo

Kristi

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October 14, 2014

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